Love has its own reasons, they say – reasons that the heart does not know. For generations, mankind has stumbled in the shadow, trying to pinpoint the factors that influence people to paint the town red. While many have raised a white flag in surrender, sighing and shrugging to Selena Gomez’s “The Heart Wants What It Wants” or Taylor Swift’s “I knew You Were Trouble,” Psychology effectively earns bragging rights by successfully defining and diagnosing why people fall in love, and they are weird and fascinating.
So, we’ve compiled science-proven ways to make someone see the sparks in Summer.
Do something thrilling together.
There’s a psychological phenomenon called the “Misattribution of Arousal,” which basically means that when a person meets somebody after doing something exciting or extreme, he/she mistakes the arousal from the activity to be arousal for the other person.
Smart kids (with a PhD in Social Psychology) Donald Dutton and Arthur Aron illustrated this phenomenon in their study in 1974 where they placed men under two conditions: the first set walked across a high shaky bridge and the second on a low sturdy one. Afterwards, they met a female interviewer who gave them her phone number “just in case”.
As it turns out, the men who walked the high shaky bridge were more likely to call the woman interviewer because they’ve mistake rush of adrenaline they felt from walking the shaky bridge as arousal for the woman. So, on your first date, jumpstart the chemistry by doing something extreme – skydive, bunjee jump – rather than sticking to the usual candle lit dinner.
Prime them to feel more attracted.
Priming basically means you set the person’s mind into something by exposing him to stimuli that will influence him to respond the way you want them to.
John Bargh, a Yale psychologist, illustrated this through an experiment where he had participants hold warm or cold beverages and asked them to rate someone’s personality, warm or cold. Those who held cold drinks rated the person’s personality cold because their subconscious was already primed to think that way.
So the next time you go on date, you might want to take them to coffee instead of buying them ice cream.
Live close to them.
Distance doesn’t make the heart grow fonder. You have to physically be present in order to establish and keep an emotional connection. Passive interactions, like brief meetings and short conversations make people feel more intimate towards each other. Mere exposure primarily causes attraction.
Live in a beautiful home.
Apparently, your property reflects who you are (or at least, your social standing). Researchers from Cardiff Metropolitan University photographed a man in a luxury apartment and in a standard apartment. Female subjects were significantly more attracted to the men in the luxury apartment.
Own a dog.
Owning a dog doesn’t only make men look laidback and approachable, women also see it as a sign that they are able to take care of something aside from themselves. According to Dognition, 82% of people are more likely to approach an attractive person with a dog than someone without. When legendary psychologists Nicolas Geguen and Serge Ciccotti asked women their numbers without a dog, one in ten ladies gave their number, but one in every three women gave it when the men asked with a dog.
Don’t like them on your first meeting.
Love at first sight is a rare occurrence. Not being attracted to a person in the first meeting and then having occasional brief moments afterwards build up intimacy and connection. Most of all, people find it rewarding to win someone over, so there’s no judgment in playing hard to get and making the other person work for it.
Match your walking pace.
This isn’t figurative speaking. Researchers from the University of Illinois found that men walk at a significantly slower pace to match the pace of women they like.
It unfortunately makes sense. A European study proves that women who had botox look younger, more attractive and healthy so they were more likely to find partners. But hey, that doesn’t mean you have to visit your derma every week! Too much of anything can be bad.
Smile a lot.
You know how the funny guy most often than not gets the hot girl? It turns that the intensity of a smile compensates for relative unattractiveness. Aside from that, someone who smiles a lot seems to be someone who is easy to be with, secure and happy. People find that smiling is a signifier of strength, and they attracted to that.
While this may seem relative, a study in France made a young man hold either a guitar case or a sports bag and had him ask 300 women for their numbers. Women more likely responded positively when the man was holding a guitar case.
A Slovakian research tested and proved the hypothesis that women who wore red were more successful in the dating scene. Red not only gives out sense of independence, sexiness and ferocity. It’s also attributed to sexual signaling.
Get facial hair.
An Australian experiment found that women liked faces with heavy stubble than those with heavy beards, light stubble and clean shaven. Women perceived men with facial hair as masculine (and better in bed) – especially when she is in her menstrual cycle. It also seems full beard indicate high parenting ability.